she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
