Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
