Got a toothbrush?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
