The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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