I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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