Ambien. No doubt about it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
