she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
