Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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