I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize