he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
