Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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