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My liver just broke up with me...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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