Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
