I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
