ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
