FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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