found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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