Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I am morally bankrupt
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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