Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
