What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize