Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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