it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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