no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
do herpes really smell.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
