Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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