why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
