hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
