we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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