There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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