Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
