Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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