Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize