so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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