its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
