I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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