Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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