she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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