Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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