His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
