as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
