is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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