Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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