Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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