After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
