piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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