How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
