Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
