He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I lost the right to judge tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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