I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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