He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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