I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
