No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
