my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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