Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
