I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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