now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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