go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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