gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
