Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
