i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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