**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize