All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
