So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize