so that wasnt chicken after all
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
