but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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