definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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