I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ketchup is God's man juice
no you cant smoke seaweed
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
