she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
