If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
